Iron Man 3

Awesome, but Iron Man 2 was better

 

After much waiting, not to mention confusion about the movie’s release date, I finally went and watched Iron Man 3, and came out gravely disappointed. Not because the movie was bad (more on that in a bit), but because I missed the post-credits scene. What’s even worse is that I can’t find it anywhere on the Web. So, whenever you watch the movie – STAY TILL AFTER THE CREDITS! There is a scene hidden there.

Now, onto the movie. It is awesome. There’s no taking away from that. It’s just that, when compared to the other movies, which it inevitably will be – it will always come out the lesser of the four movies.

One of the main reasons for this is the scale of the Avengers. I mean, its more than difficult to top huge alien snake-things destroying New York City, isn’t it? So, what they’ve tried to do is expose a more vulnerable side of Tony Stark, which doesn’t gel with the character as a whole. That said, the sight of forty-two Iron-Men simultaneously blowing up bad guys is a sight to behold, Avengers or no Avengers.

In my mind, the worst justice is given out to the Mandarin, who turns out to be far, far less than he is shown to be, especially in the trailers.

So, go and watch Iron Man 3, enjoy it, watch the post-credits scene, and come home. Follow with intense discussion on how the epic trailer blow the movie out of proportion, and killed the movie before it released – another victim of the expectations of the franchise’s fans.

Couldn’t resist!!

The Croods

Another shot, another miss.

‘From the makers of Ice Age’ the posters say, which seems to be the only thing drawing the crowds to cinemas for this movie. The Dreamworks logo on any movie practically guarantees a good watch, especially for kids, but they seem to be running on fumes after the last Ice Age.

The Croods takes the tried-and-tested father and daughter bonding story, changed the setting to the Stone Age and presented it as the Croods. Even the 3-D part is half-baked, because I took off my glasses after the first 15 minutes and watched just fine. If anything, the glasses hindered my watching simply because it made everything a lot darker.

In the same vein, the characters were completely forgettable and can be summed up in a few words, per person.

The only character with a little life in him was Guy’s pet sloth, Belt, and only because of scenes like this.

So, while Croods may become a box-office hit, please remember that this is so, only because:

1. Of Dreamworks’ Ice Age, Shrek and Madagascar legacy
2. It’s a movie for kids who aren’t exactly critics, and only watch a movie for the entertainment.

Cross-Movie Connections #2 – Storm Shadow, an Assassin?

Franchises linked: G.I. Joe and Assassin’s Creed

Yes, I know all ninjas are assassins, but in this case the assassins I refer to are the Assassins, of Assassin’s Creed fame.

In the first movie, Storm Shadow kills the Count after he is forced to arm the nanomite warhead (which is subsequently used to destroy the Eiffel Tower) using a blade which appears out of his sleeve.

This blade is extremely similar to those used by all the Assassins in the famed video game series.

G.I Joe: Retaliation

Entertaining, but nothing spectacular

Let me start by saying that this movie is the ultimate example of the words ‘not bad’. The story isn’t bad, and neither is the acting, screenplay, music, etc. That said, it wasn’t particularly good either.

G.I Joe: Retaliation is the latest movie in the Joe series of movies, with G.I Joe:The Rise of Cobra, being the first. It starts (presumably) a couple of years after the events of the first film. Duke is now the Joe’s leader along with a couple of new squad-mates – Roadblock, Lady Jaye and Flint.Sadly, NONE of the characters from the first film make it tot he second with the exception of Duke, Snake Eyes, Zartan, Storm Shadow, Cobra Commander and Destro (sort of, since the only show him imprisoned). The President has been replaced by Zartan, who has ordered the Joes be wiped out. Understandably, the Joes have to save the world yet again.

The movie as a whole isn’t bad, like I said – but there are lots of inconsistencies between the story of the first and that of the second. First, Storm Shadow returns – after having somehow surviving being stabbed in the chest, electrocuted, and a multi-storey plunge into frigid arctic waters in the first movie.

Then, the no-show of Duke’s team? The Baroness was being purged of nanomites last, so her absence is forgiven but the others? What excuse do they have? Additionally, the entire franchise seems to have moved from the science-fiction war movie, with Cobra having the cool accelerator suits and laser weapons to a more conventional war movie.

A lot of ideas for scenes seem to be poached from other franchises as well, most notable being when Joe (Bruce Willis) begins arming the team by extracting weapons caches from various places in his home – almost exactly like in Don’t Mess With the Zohan. This scene in particular annoys me. I know its meant to be funny, but why stretch the same joke so far?

The characters are all awesome, but here again the character of Lady Jaye could have been used more than just to the seduction of random men. However, in the face of all the mediocrity, the fight scenes shone through and will probably bring in the crowds during its spell in the theaters. All in all, a good movie to watch with frends and a better way to spend a couple of hours.

Shorts to See #1 – Assassin’s Creed: Embers

I’ve been on an Assassin’s Creed kick for a while now, what with the PS4 announcements and the impending release of Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag. So, its almost fitting to start a new section with a movie adaptation of the video-game series. The movie lasts about 20 minutes and follows the most widely recognized Assassin in the series – Ezio Auditore da Firenze.

But first, some background. Embers is an animated short film which was first bundled with the game Assassin’s Creed: Revelations. Created by Ubiworkshop, it follows Ezio in his old age after he retires from the order. He lives an idyllic life with his wife and children till a stranger arrives and changes what remains of his life.

Its not bad for as movies go and certainly could have been worse, but its not exactly perfect. The animation in itself is adequate, but the voice acting could have been better – at least in the case of the Chinese Assassin Shao Jun. Above all, its best to watch the movie after you have a reasonable amount of knowledge as far as the games are concerned.

 

Announcing ‘Shorts to See’

As part of the revival of my blog I’m going to introduce another new section, ‘Shorts to See’. This section will primarily cover animated shorts – but this is a completely arbitrary decision and I’ll probably expand later on, because of my lack of expertise with live-action short-films

Please give me your feedback, opinions, ideas – anything! It gets lonely back here, you know?

Upcoming Reviews

Life of Pi

Oz: The Great and Powerful

Iron Man 3

Cross- Movie Connections #1

Its been a while since I posted last, almost 6 months, in fact! Sadly, there are periodically recurring events called exams which seem to occur very often in my life at the moment. If not exams then unit tests, and if not those then a project or something worse…

So, in other news I’m going to start a new section in my blog called “Cross-Movie Connections” where I connect two or more movies or movie franchises together. Now, I need you to understand that I’m still new to this quasi-conspiracy theory business, so please don’t tear me apart if a make a particularly bad connection.

So here goes…

Movies linked: Renaissance Man and Shooter

Premise: Haywood changes his name to Robert Swagger, and transfers to the Marines, where he quickly becomes renowned for his sniper skills, despite having a slow start as a double-D in the Army.

Imagination gone wild!

Ted

Crude humor ………. and not much else.

Before Ted released, I had high hopes for the movie – what could go wrong with Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, even if their supporting character was a pot-smoking, foul mouthed bear? As it appears, almost everything.

There is no plot, so to speak and none of the characters are particularly memorable. Maybe I’ve seen Wahlberg in too many action movies, to  be comfortable with him in this weird rom-com

. 

I know there is a teddy bear, but this movie is certainly not for children and should not be watched with one, even by mistake. Jokes are crude and most, if not all fall flat. The only time the movie got interesting was nearing the end and even that died in a couple of minutes. The closing remarks are sort-of funny, and you think more of how the joke is stupid, more than the joke itself.

Personally, I think the people associated with Family Guy should stick to Family Guy and not try other stuff (except you, Mila, you’re awesome!). Go Simpsons!

 

Life of Pi – Coming soon!

Releases on the 23 of November (next Friday) .Can’t wait!